Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Mothers' Day: Join Mothers Holding Hands

OK, here's my thought and here's my idea:

The thought:

I figure we ~ all of us who have lost children ~ are all looking forward to Mothers' Day ( and I'm using the plural possessive intentionally) with trepidation. Probably an understatement. Without wanting to diminish our gratitude for our surviving children, if we have them, or our mothers and grandmothers, if we have them, many of us are apprehensive at best about the thought of an entire day devoted to celebrating motherhood when we have so much to mourn.

The idea:

Let's hold hands on Sunday and care for one another, across however much cyber-distance we can. Let's try to take care of ourselves by caring for each other.

The invitation:

Send a note ~ in the comments is probably the easiest, but you can also write to gannetgirlatsbcdotglobalnetdotcom ~ with whatever you want to say, for yourself and to all of us ~ and I will put them all together in one post on Sunday. And, of course, you are welcome to copy and paste the whole thing into your own blog as well.

Let's remember our joy and our sorrow as mothers all together.

(Cross-posting at Search the Sea.)


Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

Thank you for this idea. I look forward to commenting on it on my blog.

Peace and Happy Mother's Day.

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

And, here's my contribution to all moms: Whether you mother a living child or one who is with God, you stand in equality with all mothers. Hold your children in your heart today as you reflect upon your child's life. Happy Mothers Day. Peace.

Michele said...

Thank you. And I second Mommy's equalilty post and add this.

We are all visitors to this world; some of us walk a long journey, others just a simple second. Our impact and the true depths of our lives is not based on how many breaths we take or how old we live to be. Our lives are measured in how we have touched one another. Our children, dead and alive, have touched us deeply. Their lives mattered. Their lives have meaning and value, regardless of whether they lived on this earth or how long they lived on this earth.

caitsmom said...

I love this. Adding my thoughts:

Honoring Mothers' Day for all those who mourn the death of their precious children. Not even death can break the bond of mother and child. Love is eternal.

Natalie said...

What a beautiful idea. Thank you for this.

My thoughts tonight keep taking me to a quote from Timepiece by Richard Paul Evans: "If ever I am to comfort someone, I will not try to palliate their suffering through foolish reasoning. I will just embrace them and tell them I am heartfelt sorry for their loss."

To all of you, wherever you may be, if I could I would embrace you. I am heartfelt sorry for the losses that have brought us together. But, I am also thankful to have found such comfort and support. Happy Mother's Day.

Cynthia said...

As a mother of three boys, two of whom are alive today, I am grateful to God for the joy and challenges of being a mother. Our son Jacob only lived for one hour after he was born. His twin brother Jackson is now 14 and 6 feet tall. Jacob is somehow present in our family and yet not. I trust he is in the loving presence of God. My faith helps me treasure the past, present and future as mother.
Thank you for inviting mothers to share our grief and hope.

karengberger said...

Dear Gannet Girl,

I am wishing you (and all mothers) a Happy Mother's Day; though that may sound especially trite right now, I do mean it from the deepest place in my heart.

I was looking at my blog posting from last year's Mother's Day, and it was interesting to read, a year later.
Much has changed, and much is the same. I survived this year, and Katie didn't come back.

This may always be a tough holiday, but I am so happy to be a mother, and especially grateful to be the mother of both of my children, David and Katie. Katie is still my precious daughter, even though she doesn't live here anymore.

After her passing, I found a letter that she had written to me, two years and one day before she died. She was perfectly healthy at the time she wrote it. The letter is precious to me, and I carry it in my purse with our family photos. It says (with her spelling just as it is in the letter):

"Dear Mom,
I want you to know that I love you all the time. Every single second of life and death. I'm thinking of you always. You will always be my mother. You come and help me when I'm hurt, you help with my arts and crafts, you supervize me with the hot glue gun, you kiss my ouie's better, you prepare meals for the family every night (unless we go out to dinner), your smile brightens every day of my life, you cook very well, you always help me with my homwork, when I have a tummyach you give me tums, and if that doesn't work you give me a banana or rice from the Brat diet, and you love all of the family with all of your heart.
I LOVE you Mommy!
Kathryn Emilie Gerstenberger"

This Mother's Day, I share this letter with you, in the hopes that Katie's words will comfort you, too. She is right: we will always be our child's mother, "every single second of life and death." Thank you, Katie, for a beautiful Mother's Day gift.

God bless you, Gannet Girl. I enjoy your blog very much. You will be a wonderful spiritual director, when you are ready.

Stratoz said...

not sure where I fit in, but will say this... back in the day when M went to church with me, she could not go on Mother's Day. wish you peace my friend.

Gannet Girl said...

I have almost never gone to church on Mother's Day. Hard when I didn't have a mother; impossible when I am missng a son.

Thank you, Stratoz.