Sunday, May 31, 2009

Inching Forward

Church was all right. It was more than all right. For whatever reason, I felt able to handle whatever was lobbed my way for the couple of hours I was there, and very interested in the various conversations in which I was involved.

(I did notice one really interesting thing, though.

Church seemed so BUSY. The service itself was full of energy (Pentecost, after all) but afterward, in the hallways and at the coffee hour -- people are just so BUSY. So many rapid-fire, half-baked conversations; so many interruptions. I don't know whether it's my two years of developing something of a contemplative stance in spiritual direction training, or my two years of (on occasion, anyway) thoughtful assessment in an academic environment, or my nine months of cautious adaptation to pain ~ but church felt hurried and jagged and wound up. I suppose that's another reason I've stayed away ~ an intuitive sense that the pace is just wrong for me right now.

An acquaintance/friend gave me an exquisite prayer shawl that she had made for me and been carting around for months, hoping I would show up one day. It is a lovely, lovely gift ~ but she thrust the box into my arms and disappeared.)

And then late this afternoon, Gregarious Son and I made the two-hour round trip to City South of Here, to figure out where he is supposed to go for the LSAT in another week. One of the things I most appreciate about my two surviving children is their ability to talk openly about our lives as we find them now. At one point I commented on how glad I am that he is signed up for the LSAT ~ whether or not he ever goes to law school, it's a start.

And he said, "We're going to pull through this, Mom."

8 comments:

mompriest said...

Out of the mouths of our children...but, yes, I think he is right....

karengberger said...

What a dear, sweet young man...his comment makes me teary. And I also believe he is right.

Purple said...

I found the exact same thing on Easter...there was no "space" to even breathe. I was exhausted by the end of the service...just being in the congregation. For me, it was definitely the contemplative thing.

Anonymous said...

My daughter said the exact words to me. Though she is hurting even more than I, she seems to be moving on better than I.
We are blessed by our children. Your son is special.
April

Lisa :-] said...

I have to say, Robin... I really enjoyed our short visit last month, and it was marvelous to talk to you. But I was SO impressed with how wonderful your children are. They are bright and engaging, and it's obvious that they have pulled together to form a network of mutual support with/for you in this time of immense grief and change.

Carol said...

Wonderful news and words from GS. And the fact that you made it through the service in one piece and with good observations is indeed, it seems, a positive step forward.
Healing thoughts continue your way.

Rev SS said...

I agree with Mompriest and K .. and with your comments about the business! (((GG)))

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

I'm so glad to read that comment of your son's. I've been praying for your children as well as you.