Gregarious Son and I had dinner tonight with good, good friends. The son and Chicago Son were best friends for most of their growing up years. His mom is one of my very best friends. His dad has faced serious, almost impossible, health challenges for 15 years. The kind that remind you every day that there is nothing remotely fair about life.
In the kitchen, my friend and I talked about the day we learned that Chicago Son had died. I was on retreat, four hours from home. She says that I called and, seeing my name on the caller ID, she answered with delight. We had been meaning to get together for weeks. I said, "Are you alone?" and she immediately knew something was terribly wrong. He husband was out back, and so she said, "Just tell me," and I did.
"You were competely calm and articulate," she said. "And you asked me to go over to your house to be with your husband, and I said that I would go as soon as I got hold of my son. And then you just started screaming."
I don't remember that call at all.
8 comments:
... to have friends like that...to be there for you when all you can do is scream...
I think forgetting things like this is one of the best features of our memories. Like mompriest, I am in awe of your circle of friends and how you support and care for each other.
What a great friend...then and now...prayers continue for all of you.
I'm so glad you had someone to call and someone with whom you felt safe enough to express the horror. I'm glad she's still there for you now.
Friends like that are part of what make living through a tragedy possible. And I agree with Kathryn about the memory loss. It is a small gift that God gives us.
I can only recall moments frozen like photographs from several days around my husband's death. My actions, things I said are gone completely.
I know you realize that you are more than blessed with the circle of friends you have around you. Nothing can substitute for that kind of support.
peace, from one who has a blank slate or two.
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