The interlude was just that.
I can't figure out which is worse, getting a break or not.
A couple of weeks ago I spent Sunday morning at my field ed church, which is what I do on Sundays now, and as it was the first "real" Sunday of the new year, I was focused intently on what was going on. For about the last 45 minutes or so, I did not think about Josh.
And then I got out to my car and burst into tears and cried most of the way home, and decided that the wave that follows the lull is worse than no lull. Just a nice, steady, even keel of grief; that's the way to go.
But I don't get to control it, and so I've had a break for a few days. Not that I haven't thought about him all the time, but it's been easier, somehow.
Guess easier is over. As of about an hour ago.
I can't figure out which is worse, getting a break or not.
A couple of weeks ago I spent Sunday morning at my field ed church, which is what I do on Sundays now, and as it was the first "real" Sunday of the new year, I was focused intently on what was going on. For about the last 45 minutes or so, I did not think about Josh.
And then I got out to my car and burst into tears and cried most of the way home, and decided that the wave that follows the lull is worse than no lull. Just a nice, steady, even keel of grief; that's the way to go.
But I don't get to control it, and so I've had a break for a few days. Not that I haven't thought about him all the time, but it's been easier, somehow.
Guess easier is over. As of about an hour ago.
5 comments:
(((((GG))))))
Mich
Oh...a big hug...
((((((GG))))))
Reality checks...bite...big time.
It's a roller coaster that you can't control, so you just learn to ride it. I answered yesterday's questions on my blog. Thanks for asking them. It was good therapy for me and I hope it helps you, too.
Hugs.
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