Monday, August 9, 2010

Clothes, Books, Mysteries

I decided that today I would empty the three big suitcases and sort through whatever they held.

Clothes, mostly. Well-worn t-shirts and jeans. Casual business clothes, pants and shirts and shoes which I helped him purchase as he made the transition from college to work. He had no idea what to buy, and we had a lot of fun figuring it out together. Most of them will go to a shelter. Although he and his brother are twins, he was six inches taller and weighed about 30 pounds more.

I am keeping the fleece jackets. They fit me; I plan to snuggle into the memories when autumn comes.

Bedding. Some of it flannel sheets for twin beds, which we can use in this house for guest beds. Some of it the last sheets and quilt he used -- I don't want them.

Socks. Lots of perfectly good socks. I ask his brother whether he wants them. Does one want to wear the socks of one's dead brother? I don't know.

Boxers. You can't really give those away, can you? I recognize a number of them; I've often purchased packets of brightly patterned underwear as Christmas stocking gifts.

Some workbooks and craft items that may have belonged to his girlfriend. Another pile. I'll have to contact her when I'm finished.

Some artwork; some prints he purchased toward the end of his life. I like them very much; into a pile they go, for a someday pastor's study.

"They belonged to my son," I'll say when someone asks. I won't elaborate.


Kathryn J said...

I am sending love. You are a strong woman to spend today doing this. Thinking of you and praying with you.

karen gerstenberger said...

I feel this in my gut. I know what these precious items feel like, and I feel so tired when I think of you doing this job. Sending lots of tender, loving thoughts to you.

MumPastor said...

GG, if you need a break, come and sit on my porch and we'll share some lemonade. I am sending hugs your way.

Magdalene6127 said...

Loving and tender thoughts from here too.

Lisa :-] said...

Difficult work, my friend...

Karen said...

Such a difficult, painful,process, but oh so necessary. You can't give it all away--just too many precious and representative things. Yet some of it is too painful to keep. Sorting it all out is a confusing melange of sadness, trauma and loss, and also a reminder of good and meaningful things. I wish there was a way to make this easy, but it's not to be. The good thing is that their things hold their "inscape" and we get to see it and feel it all again, and so to me it's worth the pain.

I kept Joey's favorite shirt, his favorite jacket too, and it hangs on a hook in my entry, along with his backpack. Precious to me.

Praying for you today and in the days to come as this giant wave rolls over you, that you find your feet again, and will be able to get up and walk after it's over.
Hugs and love to you, with all my heart.

Carol said...

So difficult. Sending you love and hope for continued grace in this process.

Nancy said...

Prayers for you.

Smiled at the "snuggle into the memories when autumn comes." And the feelings of holding and being held.

Prayers for you.