Saturday, March 21, 2009


I have to pace myself so carefully.

I forget that grieving takes up about 200% of your energy, and you have to do everything else with whatever's left over.

I forget that my energy was depleted seven months ago, and I get involved with things, and then I am so tired that I can hardly move, and then I remember that I am running on way below empty.

I am really grateful that anyone even wants me to be involved with anything. But I have to remember: It will take ten times as long as and 20 times the energy that I anticipate.

(Image of Grief by Gustave Miller


Sarah S-D said...

i bet this is hard to remember. and hard to live through. you were SUCH an active woman... slowing down must be hard. you've had a VERY full weekend this weekend. you must be exhausted. thinking of you.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Yes, that is so difficult. All you can do is to keep on pacing yourself.

Cynthia said...

The pacing is difficult. I find myself at two speeds: frantic, driven, heart trying to leap out of my chest or unable to move or still, unable or unwilling to move, withdrawing from people who might actually want my company because I know I have nothing to offer and actually detract from whatever the gathering might be. I'm also wondering if it ever gets any better. It has to. It has to. It has to.