tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post8950090864959583385..comments2023-10-22T09:53:27.978-04:00Comments on Desert Year: Beyond BarsGannet Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16374279595560691174noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-52777758516158506092009-07-21T13:47:23.488-04:002009-07-21T13:47:23.488-04:00Have to disagree about avoiding the wedding recept...Have to disagree about avoiding the wedding reception. You were caring fully for yourself. Good for you.<br /><br />Also, the note and plate of cookies would be most appropriate -- for the neighbor to bring to you!<br /><br />Holding you and all of yours in prayer,<br />Gracie, a lurkerAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-640250538809070522009-07-19T21:36:52.841-04:002009-07-19T21:36:52.841-04:00"Grief is its own prison." That's in..."Grief is its own prison." That's insightful, and what you write about needing to relearn social skills makes sense t me too.Ruth Hull Chatlienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08797146501548509911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-55065579038859108172009-07-19T17:28:52.724-04:002009-07-19T17:28:52.724-04:00Oh,oww, heart squeeze, deep pain in chest...just r...Oh,oww, heart squeeze, deep pain in chest...just reading about that wedding encounter hurts so much. A hug for you, friend.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14519140951660677172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-24524250547961068652009-07-19T14:38:13.557-04:002009-07-19T14:38:13.557-04:00At the wedding last week, one of our neighbors, af...At the wedding last week, one of our neighbors, after speaking to our daughter who used to babysit for his family, looked quizically at our little family and said, "Don't you have another son?"<br /><br />Note to self: a conversation like the very brief one that ensued should be followed by a visit with a note and a plate of cookies, not by avoidance at said wedding reception.Gannet Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16374279595560691174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-52016395584499169512009-07-19T14:27:13.047-04:002009-07-19T14:27:13.047-04:00We've just started at a new church, and the ne...We've just started at a new church, and the necessary process of getting to know people/introductions/small talk are laborious at best, and at worst they can precipitate tears, disjointed confessions of grief, and hasty apologies. I hate that people get such an odd look on their face, and kind of step back. I am helpless to stop it, yet also hoping people will be patient with me and not just write me off as the unstable newcomer. I feel like a stranger in a strange land. GG, your analogy is a good one. Many thanks.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14519140951660677172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-22448122901128032392009-07-19T13:22:54.794-04:002009-07-19T13:22:54.794-04:00This feeling is very familiar to me; thank you for...This feeling is very familiar to me; thank you for putting so clearly into words, and for being (as always) honest about it. It is vitally important not to feel cut off & alone in life, yet community of any kind poses many difficulties in this space of grieving. I'm glad that this book has provided a way of seeing the situation that resonates with you.Gbergerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08895779471612397202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-62919088213024537852009-07-19T13:21:45.899-04:002009-07-19T13:21:45.899-04:00I can't say that thge thought of pickled brine...I can't say that thge thought of pickled brine shrimp is an appetizing one. But solidarity in this other universe -- that's kind of nice. <br /><br />Your experience is why I didn't go to church this morning. I'm up to once a month or so, but mostly it's just too hard a place to be.Gannet Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16374279595560691174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-73188690034768594502009-07-19T12:17:54.967-04:002009-07-19T12:17:54.967-04:00Isn't that remarkable, how fast the regular wo...Isn't that remarkable, how fast the regular world can become the outside world?<br /><br />It's odd that I should be reading your post here, because I had just the experience you describe with "the smaller issues" at church this morning. Of course the end of a marriage is not to be compared directly with the suicide of a child, but still... I suddenly realised that I was living in a slightly difference space than the people I was talking, and that, like you, I'd have been perfectly comfortable discussing serious, focussed matters; but here I was, completely lost with the ordinary trivia, not knowing how to answer the most innocuous inquiry as to "how I was?"<br /><br />Fortunately I was rescued by a wonderful woman of prayer, who asked me "No, seriously, how are you <i>really</i> doing?" Then I could answer, then I could tell her about this odd new landscape called being alone.<br /><br />Thank you for this, GG. And thank you especially for the parallel with life after prison. Having had a little to do with prison ministry at one time, I could make sense of what your two authors were saying, and of the ex-prisoners' experience. It is a very real parallel, I think...<br /><br />(The verification test was "umositi". A kind of pickled brine shrimp, popular as a garnish in the Tohoku region of Japan?)Mike Farleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06732248182662167951noreply@blogger.com