tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post7564604556749008173..comments2023-10-22T09:53:27.978-04:00Comments on Desert Year: Surviving a Child's SuicideGannet Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16374279595560691174noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-17654809852331280252009-09-13T00:42:22.023-04:002009-09-13T00:42:22.023-04:00I have recently found your blog and I am so gratef...I have recently found your blog and I am so grateful. I too lost my son to suicide four years ago. He was just 21 years old. Every day since then has been a struggle to go on, trying to find a reason to keep breathing. I'm not sure I've had a coherent thought for four years. I do know that I don't let a day go by without saying his name out loud to someone, anyone who will listen. Thank you for your words, thanks for listening.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-74301443763257804112009-09-06T23:56:00.459-04:002009-09-06T23:56:00.459-04:00Dear Anonymous Mom of 17yod: I hope that you see ...Dear Anonymous Mom of 17yod: I hope that you see this. Not because I have brilliant words of advice, or even useless words of advice, because I have none. I just want you to know that your pain and frustration and fear are heard. That is the only thing that has helped me -- to be really heard -- and so I know that all I can do is try to pass that particular gift on. And to urge you to try to be one of the survivors.Gannet Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16374279595560691174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-26306180170496241692009-09-04T14:13:19.028-04:002009-09-04T14:13:19.028-04:00I feel so terribly sorry for your loss. I am on th...I feel so terribly sorry for your loss. I am on the verge of relating. I am the mother of a 17 year old who has been threatening suicide since she was 13. It's been an on going battle with doctors, therapists and psychiatrists. She is an amazingly bright and gifted child who has big dreams and aspirations but completely lacks the discipline to work towards them. She begs for my help and as always I help and all that comes from my help, even when I do exactly what she asks, is how I have continued to ruin her life. All of the weight of blame rests on my shoulders. She takes zero responsibility. So here I sit, each day waiting for her to follow through with her threat, so worried and feeling like a failure that I too often contemplate ending my life just to stop the relentless misery she inflicts upon me.I don't know how a parent survives the self inflicted death of a child, all I do know is that I will not be one of them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-55633525051694681402009-09-01T21:31:20.669-04:002009-09-01T21:31:20.669-04:00I have not lost a child to the grief of suicide. I...I have not lost a child to the grief of suicide. I have lost three friends and two uncles, the most recent being my mother's twin. I have followed your journey and give thanks for your gift of communicating the many emotions and questions. Your writing has been in many ways a grace and for you I offer the deepest prayers- some way too deep for words.Law+Gospelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04635380643783565043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-71587718779468825472009-08-28T09:07:08.089-04:002009-08-28T09:07:08.089-04:00my cousin committed suicide when I was 20... it sh...my cousin committed suicide when I was 20... it shocked me because we had just seen each other at Thanksgiving...<br /><br />and now my best friend's daughter (who has tried twice) is back in a ward where they are trying once again to "fix" her meds. And all I can do is listen and weep with her. <br /><br />I have no wise words. Just tears.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-80269335264263814282009-08-23T12:08:51.394-04:002009-08-23T12:08:51.394-04:00Thank you, GG.Thank you, GG.Carolnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-53845586482701246312009-08-23T11:20:10.086-04:002009-08-23T11:20:10.086-04:00As Ruth noted in an above comment, you are generou...As Ruth noted in an above comment, you are generous to share this information, GG. Thank you again.<br /><br />MichDaisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07074990352248493598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-22530540398438797952009-08-21T21:21:08.625-04:002009-08-21T21:21:08.625-04:00I have not had children of my own ... I have lost ...I have not had children of my own ... I have lost a very close friend, and a member of the youth group that was under my supervision to death by suicide, and have witnessed the behavior you mention, and so agree with above comments. Prayers continue.Rev SShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14661507940053055640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-23111418509798821692009-08-21T18:32:03.171-04:002009-08-21T18:32:03.171-04:00It is generous of you to post this to try to reach...It is generous of you to post this to try to reach others dealing with this horrible grief.Ruth Hull Chatlienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08797146501548509911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-15031357699469763202009-08-21T16:27:35.045-04:002009-08-21T16:27:35.045-04:00I am so glad you wrote this today. There is a dear...I am so glad you wrote this today. There is a dearth of information on this subject, and an unhelpful silence in the culture at large. It's hard enough to educate people on the long-term impact of grief, and the suicide side of it carries even more ignorance. It truly needs to come out of the closet. <br /><br />Those in the helping professions (pastors and me,too) are generally untrained and are disappointingly unaware of how to support a family through grief, let alone the added layer of suicide. So the word needs to be said, and we all need to grow to understand the specific suffering that attends the loss of a beloved child in this way. <br /><br />Gannet Girl, you are blessed with a double dose of courage, and you are good at speaking truth in love. Because of that you, as a by-product, help that cause just by sharing your thoughts and feelings and experience. I am here to learn. I thank you for being a teacher even while you are learning your way through the most tragic and personal subject of your life. <br /><br />One thing I just need to say is that neither you, nor your precious family, are to blame for your beautiful boy losing his ability to see. It's a broken world-- it can happen to anybody. <br /><br />My heart hurts so much for you and I pray for you all every day. <br />Love, KarenKarenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14519140951660677172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-20553196236667678692009-08-21T14:39:06.458-04:002009-08-21T14:39:06.458-04:00This is very helpful. Thank you.
I can't see ...This is very helpful. Thank you.<br /><br />I can't see how anyone could judge a death by suicide in any way but with compassion for the one who has passed, and for his family, who live on with the pain and the questions. The death of any child is horrific, no matter their age. Sending love to you.Gbergerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08895779471612397202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-18232647673491527532009-08-21T11:05:36.808-04:002009-08-21T11:05:36.808-04:00While not the horror you experienced, my corner of...While not the horror you experienced, my corner of life ick has shown me that bad things happening to good people is not pretty. And most people want to deal with only what is pretty on a daily basis. And so they don't help by talking with you about it. I could be incorrect in this, but it's happened so often from fine, decent people that I have no other deductions. <br /><br />You are brave and good for sharing these things with us. And it certainly confirms, IMO, why you are going to be a blessed pastor. Why, you already are.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02785984092226524603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-41485546954294478582009-08-21T10:38:55.525-04:002009-08-21T10:38:55.525-04:00For me, anyway, I don't know what to say. Yes,...For me, anyway, I don't know what to say. Yes, I am a pastor, I should know. Would it be helpful to talk? Would it be helpful not to talk? Is it helpful to even ask? <br /><br />I am thankful that I have grown to know you. I am thankful that you have shared your journey with me. I am sorry you are on this journey. I am sorry that your son is not physically by your side.Joan Calvinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13858394238696729686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516914894527254464.post-4013109956675472112009-08-21T09:58:02.069-04:002009-08-21T09:58:02.069-04:00There is another phase that adds additional layers...There is another phase that adds additional layers--"police assisted suicide".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com